Admitting something is the hardest part.

Or so they say. I'm not sure who they are but it doesn't seem like that's the hardest part at all. Working through it seems like it's going to be that much more difficult. You see, I'm having marital problems. And it all stems back to the same thing. Moving. We moved from NJ to CA about 3 1/2 years ago. And although we told everyone it was supposed to be from about 3-5 years, we never really knew how long it was going to be. It all depended on jobs, etc. Fast forward to now and we have the munchkin and I want to move back. My family is there, his is there, my friends, etc. The support system that I am so lacking out in CA is there in NJ. Problem is, he does not want to move back. At all. I guess for most this wouldn't be an issue but this is what's driving this huge wedge in between us. He won't be happy there and I'm not sure I'll be happy anywhere else. I originally thought that I was this adventurous person and didn't need to live that close to my family and friends. I was wrong. I miss them. I want the munchkin to know grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. That won't happen so much if we're out here in CA. So we continue to have this conversation that goes round and round and round. How do you find a solution to a problem where one answer (moving to NJ) would make one person miserable and the other (not moving back) would make the other person miserable? This has been an ongoing problem for quite some time and now with the munchkin it's just been intensified. And I don't know what to do. Seek help? Sure but to what end? In marriage you have to compromise, we both know that. But how do you compromise in a situation like this? It's an all or nothing answer. So again, admitting we have a problem is not as difficult as actually solving the problem.